finaly getting somewhere

im finaly getting somewhere with my trans gender journey.

yesterday the gp said ive been refered to a gender identity clinic,its took two months to get this far because the entire large gp surgery didnt have a clue how to deal with trans people and suggested i get genetic testing done instead.

i dont know whether it will be the leeds or notingham clinic ill go to though.


road to hell

finaly went back to special olympics training after the new year,last night-had a great few games and met up with friends.

on the way out we ended up getting lost for three hours,three hours! all because the cheshire government see it fit to close off all of the motorway access at night and have heavy road works and redirections on the a roads.

am fuming.

my trans gender experiences

had grown up having no concept of difference in people,to me;male and female were the same thing. i had not known any different until just after thirtyth birthday when something clicked.

had had education at special college as a twenties adult and specialist education at home-all of which taught about gender differences but coud never understand,people were the same generic lumps of flesh as far as i was concerned.

all of that teaching had finaly come to realization in march 2014,that both male and female were different and it made me realize just how much i was in the wrong body.i had grown up hating the boobs as soon as they appeared as they felt like a foreign body that shoudnt be there and even as a teen had used four or five sports bras at a time to keep them down so was binding without realising it. even as a toddler i presented as a male,although i was the last one to know about it.

i have been bullied my whole life because of my disabilities but also because i present as male which blew the minds of many a girly girl-bullies knew i was transgender before i did.

i am proud to be able to say i am a man,a trans man yes but a man all the same.


favouritism and support staff

there is something that really upsets me-when a support staff is really obvious in their favouritism of a particular service user.

support staff who do this are blind to anything their favourite service user does and will argue for them to the ends of the earth even when theyre obviously wrong,anything said against their favourite service user is taken as an insult towards the staff and they will throw words at high speed to warn off the person who dared to speak up and say something.

its very normal for support staff to have better connections with some service users more than others [and vice versa] but what crosses the line is extreme bias/favouritism,they are showing no care for profesionalism or for the welfare and emotional wellbeing of other service users and are also not doing their favourited service user any good by covering up their mistakes and behaviors.

coming up….

ive got a guest blogger coming up,she is a support staff who is going to discuss what its like to be a support staff of people with different forms of autism and learning disability,no doubt the challenges she faces on a day to day basis,whether thats getting to/from work as well as dealing with service users and collegues.

i really respect her as a friend and support staff and think we need more staff like her.

regional games in february

am really chuffed,next month will be competing in special olympics regional games for the first time-we will be travelling to liverpool.

also getting the team track suit delivered this month which have been waiting for ages now.

had to miss training last tuesday because of a mystery fatigue and illness that have been plagued by for the past month which pissed me off big time,hoping to be back next tuesday.

holiday for thirty first birthday

whether itll happen or not is another thing but am planning on going on a holiday; for one night probably for birthday to a swanky penthouse apartment in manchester,its got its own hot tub and private roof top garden- planning to pay for mum and the support staff,but its five hundred odd quid for the one night in total.

either that one or if not,will stay at the place apartment hotel penthouse suite which is £350 the night but it doesnt have hot tub,we coud pop over to the local manchester aquatic swimming baths,if its on a tuesday or thursday its even better as they mechanicaly lower the floors to make it deeper and better.

its the first time in whole life am looking forward to a holiday.


went swimming for the first time in ages yesterday,havent been because the sciatica has been so bad.

went with two support staff and mum,mum is a non swimmer and is very frightened of water but ended up giving her some confidence by helping her learn and the pool staff had aparently picked up on this and commended me.

this particular pool doesnt usualy let me swim past the non swimmers point as they make assumptions about me because of the level of disabilities but had proven was capable and was allowed to stay in the deep end.

have just had gabapentin,an anti epileptic drug also used for nerve damage doubled to 1800 mg because of the sciaticas severity,and finaly, finaly…there is hope,its becoming pain free,hadnt used any painkillers apart from in the morning and very late night yesterday.

new blog

have decided to start a completely new blog,to avoid the same old problems with a particular information/life stealing member.

have got difficulties with self pronouns so tend to use ‘am’ as a self word,but have started trying to use ‘i’ and ‘my’ again as it is difficult but makes things easier in the long run.

this blog will be to journal my experiences with my disabilities,special olympics and trans genderism amongst other stuff.